Will Sex Coaching Help Me?

Believe it or not when you learn skill in a sex coaching session, you’ll get a tangible result within two sessions. The issue may not be gone for life but it does mean you’ve been given the tools to continue to benefit from sex coaching. Change can happen fast but permanent change requires commitment. The key is to have the opportunity to become active in your own change.

How Does Online Sex Coaching Work?

I use a results-oriented approach to help you identify and conquer sex-negative forces operating within you, and help guide you to activate the sexual wisdom that lies within you. I’m sure you’re thinking that all sounds great, but in practical terms, how does online sex coaching work?

Identify the Problem

First things first, we identify the problem. What do you want to change about your sex life?

Assess Potential Paths

Second, we assess. Is therapy or coaching more appropriate? Is this something that you can make progress on individually, or should I be working with both you and your partner?

Set Goals

Next we set goals, based on your current level of sexual fulfillment. If you see yourself as someone who should be having sex three times a day but are currently having sex three times per year, we’re going to need to set more achievable short term goals, and set you up for success.

The Work Begins!

Finally we schedule regular sessions with assigned homework in between sessions. When we meet we celebrate successes and process when targets aren’t being met. Whatever is going on that keeps you from achieving sexual happiness, e.g. negative thoughts, attraction to un-sexy situations, poor work-life balance, etc. -I work with you to achieve optimal mental and sexual health and well-being.

Sex coaching focuses on setting and achieving goals, while sex therapy is more focused on processssing emotions and trauma. So how does one decide between sex coaching and sex therapy?

One way to think about which would be a better fit is to look at trauma. If you are actively suicidal, or old trauma is currently showing up in the form of nightmares, flashbacks, dissociations, paranoia, etc., sex therapy may be a better option for you. Note - everyone has trauma; trauma is a part of being human. It’s only when that trauma is showing up and harming your sex life in ways you’re not comfortable with that it’s essential to process that now.

Another way of looking at sex coaching vs. sex therapy is to consider relational patterns.

If you’re single and simply want to enjoy sex with people you meet, and the interactions you have are generally positive, coaching is probably fine. However if your brief encounters with people are volatile, or adversely affect your life or self-esteem, we might opt for sex therapy. With people in relationships, if you have the common complaint of “everything is great but we don’t have enough sex,” coaching can feel lighter and be more productive. However, if there has been betrayal, or if the two of you fight a lot, are often defensive or distant, break up a lot and get back together, etc., therapy will make more sense.