Low Libido
Understanding Low Libido
Low libido refers to a persistent or recurring lack of sexual interest, desire, or fantasy that can affect people of any gender and at any stage of life. It’s one of the most common sexual concerns, though often one of the least discussed.
Desire is complex shaped by hormones, emotional wellbeing, stress, relationship dynamics, and a sense of safety in one’s own body. Factors like medication, hormonal shifts, fatigue, or emotional distance can all contribute. Often, low libido is not a loss of attraction or love but a signal from the body and mind that something deeper needs care or space to recover.
A Sex Therapy Perspective
In sex therapy, low libido is not viewed as a disorder or defect but as a meaningful form of communication from the body. The aim is to understand what may be suppressing desire and to rebuild a foundation of safety, curiosity, and emotional connection.
When intimacy becomes associated with pressure, performance, or fear of rejection, the nervous system responds by shutting down arousal as a form of protection. Therapy helps to retrain this response using neuroscience-based and somatic approaches that regulate anxiety, reduce shame, and restore trust in one’s body and relationships.
This process often includes exploring stress responses, self-criticism, relational tension, or patterns of avoidance, while introducing gentle ways to reconnect with sensuality and pleasure.
Restoring Desire and Connection
Therapy offers a space to rediscover desire as something responsive, not performative, a reflection of safety, presence, and self-attunement. Clients may learn to:
• Explore how stress, fatigue, or resentment impact desire
• Reconnect with their body and sensory pleasure
• Address shame, fear, or low self-esteem
• Deepen emotional safety and intimacy with a partner
• Rebuild erotic curiosity and permission to feel desire
Through this integrative approach, low libido becomes less of a problem to fix and more of an invitation to understand the body’s wisdom. With time and support, desire can return as a natural expression of wellbeing and connection.
